The Deuce is Loose

Before I begin, I wanted to post a picture of the infamous wild man Jake. Some of you know him. Appropriately, Jake is seen here sporting my dad's Ladder 23 winter fire hat he used to wear on the job. My dad spent most of his years on Ladder 23, and that barn is located in Roxbury, MA. I found it in the basement on father's day when I was home last summer. I love it, so does Jake.

I usually do my blog on Sunday, and I will be. But this week I had to go out and run on my own, and I felt this run deserved it's own posting. I will be doing my regular blog following my 20 MILER on Saturday. God that sounds scary. So since Bonnie and I missed our long run last Saturday, we had to make it up during the week, no big deal right???

The only day I could really do my run was on Monday, and Bon could not do it at the same time, so solo mission for Sean, and off I went. I ran the route we (on group runs) usually run with TNT. I tell Bon I am gonna do 14, like we were supposed to do on sat. I did 14 after tying one on a few weeks ago, and I just crushed 18, so why not. I start the run and I instantly am struggling. I am slow and I do not feel good. But it's early on, and it usually takes a few miles to get your mojo working. The run is on a 3 mile paved trail. So it is 3 miles out, then you turn around and head back. Right away you knock down 6 miles. But today, this paved trail has never seemed so damn long . The first 3 miles took forever. Once I turned around, I started thinking, am I even going to be able to rip off 14? Yeah I say, for sure, don't quit on the 14 Sean. Well I cannot get into the zone, no groove for this kid after about 4 miles. Red flags are up. It's never taken me that long to get into a comfortable place. And I am running really slow for me, like I have rocks in my shoes. I suddenly feel like I may need to use a bathroom, great...

I get off the trail (finally-I am doing between 11 and 12 minute miles-I usually do under 10). I get to my car for my water break after 6 miles. Wow- that was rough is all I can think. The second half of this run has to get better, it can't get worse. But I am now thinking I may need to find a public facility, and I just can't wait for that. I am so lucky though bc up until this run, I have not had to deal with "that". It is so annoying, it messes up your whole run. Anyone who has ran with "that" knows how miserable it is. Your stomach hurts and you cannnot stop thinking about it, bc it hurts your stomach. Maybe I can hold off I think, I dread the public restrooms at times like these....

I start out the second half of my run with just over 6 miles under my belt. I cross the bridge going into downtown Portland, and I am still not feeling well. All my focus now is on finding a bathroom. I am optimistic knowing that this sucky run could get so much better soon. I am along Naito Parkway on the water and I see one, sweet! There are 2 restrooms (men's or womens). I always find that strange when there are coed bathrooms in public. The doors are locked, no biggie. Soon a nice older woman comes out of one and lets me in. Now I am not trying to gross anyone out, and I will use my best vague judgement on this, but these types of situations just suck. I am agitated from my run, I am sweaty, and the bathroom is small, dungy, and it has water all over the place. Hopefully leaky pipes or something.

So I am in there for not even 2 minutes, and I feel this power pull on the door. Like if the door wasn't locked, it might have come off the hinges. Right after the pull on the door, I hear "Hey, we got a line out here!"

Yeah so. There wasn't 2 minutes ago, there are 2 bathrooms, and I could care less. I immediately yell back "Oh ok, I am just hanging out in here". Asshole. Please do not mess with me right now guy.

Maybe 30 seconds later, same thing, but this time an even harder pull on the door, and an even more pissed off "HEY MAN, THERE IS A LINE OUT HERE YA KNOW!!!"

I am bullshit now. Are you kidding me guy? And by the way, I did not escape from underneath the bathroom, so yeah, I still know about the line. And pal, if someone is still in there, wouldn't they maybe need a few minutes? I am ready to leave and of course, there's no soap, ugh!!!! Get me outta here! I pop the door open and I am gunning for someone. There are actually a few people waiting, but I don't care. And I look and I see him standing there front and center. I know it was him. This big goofy son of a bitch, 6'5", beard, and his cheezy bright red shirt. He looks at me and says

"Oh hey, thanks man".

Thanks????

I go "Oh yeah, you're welcome, because I was just in there checking my email you fuc^&% idiot!!!!" He looks away and walks away. I was pleasantly suprised. He knew not to go there. I was not expecting a man of his size of course, but I had to do it. So I go running off looking over my shoulder to make sure he was not following me. Dude probably would have crushed me. And the way I was running on this day, he may have caught me. I think he just realized what a loser he was being.

Anyways, I now decided I would only do 12, and I finished somehow. The run did get better after that, but it was never good. It was so bad I decided I am not doing any training runs this week for the 20 miler tomorrow. I didn't care. So this 20 miler should be interesting. But Bonie and I decided we are not going to get all nervous about it. We are officially taking a who cares attitude. And we have a heat wave going on, and tomorrow is going to be a scorcher! But we are starting at 6:30 instead of 7am. I hope that helps. Wish us luck!

Thank God I do not have to train by myself, and I have a ton of respect for people out there that have done that. Man is it tough. And sorry if my blog grossed anyone out, it was not my intentions. It just so happened that the restroom was the highlight of this crappy run (no pun intened). Til Sunday, adios, and thanks for reading.

Sean